“In my 50s, for the first time, I can look at a woman and say ‘she’s really hot.’ ” Smith said in an interview at the house in Bakersfield, Calif., he shares with his second wife, who married him eight years ago knowing his history. He spent 17 years in a doomed marriage while battling his urges all day, he said, and dreaming about them all night.īut in recent years, as he probed his childhood in counseling and at men’s weekend retreats with names like People Can Change and Journey Into Manhood, “my homosexual feelings have nearly vanished,” Mr.
Smith, 58, who says he believes homosexual behavior is wrong on religious grounds, tried to tough it out. And honouring of all that it means to be queer, everyone was loving and supportive to one another, it was a privilege to be in attendance.LOS ANGELES - For most of his life, Blake Smith said, “every inch of my body craved male sexual contact.” Themed as Celestial Bodies and marked by frequent runways participated in by the crowds, it was a liberating and moving experience. As 450 queer bodies descended on The Grand Bar, it established a beautiful, accepting space. Upon returning to Wellington after my travels, it was a pleasure to go to an LGBT+ event collective night called Frills. Similar to back home in the UK, larger cities, where attitudes are more liberal, serve as safe spaces for queer people. Queer spaces are vital, and it was fun to experience LGBT+ nightlife when visiting Auckland. It’s incredibly isolating to feel so different to the crowds surrounding you, and uncomfortable for this difference to be pointed out. It was eye-opening to see the change in attitudes outside the capital, people would stare at me for walking down the street holding hands with my boyfriend.Įxperiencing the nightlife in smaller towns across New Zealand, people would gawp and comment on my pearl necklaces and embroidered denim jacket. We left the bubble of Wellington, where people don’t bat an eyelid at flamboyant outfits or holding hands with a same-sex partner. Having such supportive friendships allowed me to experiment with more flamboyant fashions, embedding a deep personal comfort with my sexuality. Out at Night commenced with a troupe who told stories of their indigenous existence alongside their queer identities through the mode of dance. A highlight for me this year was attending a Pride event at Te Papa museum. Ranging from discussion panels centring on queer ethnic minorities’ coming out stories, all the way through to the rampant revelry of the Pride Parade. I was blown away by the multitude and diversity of events offered. The year-round visibility of Wellington’s LBGT+ community culminates annually over Pride. The Aitu Ball instilled a great personal pride of my queerness. It is gratifying to see folks from across the LBGT+ spectrum be themselves unapologetically, pushing norms on gender, race and sexuality. Categories range from runway walks to hands, where performers use only their hands to express themselves. These spaces celebrate queer, brown bodies in all their forms. Vogue was started in the 1960s in the US by the queer black, Latino and trans communities. It was a joy to discover Aotearoa also has a thriving voguing scene. Queens for a Cause is raising money to fund this year's Wellington International Pride Parade, with shows every Sunday until the parade, at Wellington's Whistling Sisters (video published January 2021). At these gatherings it was easy to affiliate with people over shared culture, no matter where you travel, queer folks will be able to relate to your stories. Working in hospitality was great for me socially, as I bonded with other LGBT+ members of staff and was swiftly invited along to a number of parties.
This dinner was spent learning in-depth about the queer history of Aotearoa.
Throwing myself into queer life in the city, I researched local LGBT+ sports teams and went for dinner at a gay living community. I moved to the capital without knowing a single person, a very intimidating prospect. Upon deciding to travel to New Zealand, it was these friends that advised that I live in Wellington, the queer capital of the country. Moving through spaces created by, and for, the LGBT+ community, I formed close friendships over our shared experiences. When I relocated to Melbourne I found myself surrounded by queer folks who pushed boundaries with their affirmed sense of self. OPINION: Back in the UK I studied at Exeter University, it lacked diversity and as a consequence of this I never understood how empowering the LGBT+ community could be.